On Celestial Phenomena of my Basal Ganglia

Ask an attention whore anything.   Is the moon making me loony?

Miss you so much I vomited then sent you the picture SO YOU WOULD KNOW WHAT MY LOVE LOOKED LIKE

— 3 weeks ago
I have to learn this and I don’t know where to put it so imma put it here

Verb + Infinitive

  • acabar de + infinitivo (to have just done something)
  • acertar a + infinitivo (to manage to do something)
  • acostumbrar a + infinitivo (to get used to doing something)
  • alcanzar a + infinitivo (to be able to do something)
  • cesar de + infinitivo (to cease to do something)
  • comenzar a + infinitivo (to being to do something
  • deber + infinitivo (to have to do something)
  • dejar de + infinitivo (to stop doing something)
  • echar(se) a + infinitivo (to burst/break into doing something)
  • empezar a + infinitivo (to begin to do something)
  • estar por + infinitivo (to be on the verge of doing something)
  • estar a punto de + infinitivo (to be about to do something)
  • haber de/que + infinitivo (to have to do something)
  • ir a + infinitivo (going to do something)
  • poder + infinitivo (to be able to do something)
  • ponerse a + infinitivo (to start to do something)
  • quedar por + infinitivo (to remain to do something)
  • llegar a + infinitivo (to come to do something)
  • romper a + infinitivo (to suddenly start doing something)
  • soler + infinitivo (to do something usually)
  • venir a + infinitivo (to come to do something)
  • volver a + infinitivo (to return to do something)
  • tardar en + infinitivo (to take a long time to do something)
  • tener que + infinitivo (to have to do something)
  • terminar de + infinitivo (to finish doing something)

Verb + Present Participle

  • andar + present participle (to be doing something)
  • estar + present participle (to be doing something)
  • ir + present participle (to be gradually doing something)
  • llevar + present participle (to continue to do something from the past)
  • seguir + present participle (to keep doing something)
  • venir + present participle (to have been doing something)

Verb + Past Participle

  • dejar + past participle (to appoint something)
  • haber + past participle (to have done something) - all the perfect tenses
  • llevar + past participle (to have done something)
  • quedar + past participle (to remain something)
  • sentirse + past participle (to have been “somethinged” - passive)
  • tener + past participle (to maintain a state of something)
  • traer + past participle (to maintain a state of something)
  • verse + past participle (to have been somethinged - passive)
— 2 months ago
Reasons not to have kids:

1. Almost no antibiotics have been discovered in 50 years and in another 50 years there will be people dying from chest infections and urinary tract infections and TB as well as dozens of other things you’ve already had and had cured again. Even small operations will become life threatening.

2. There are hundreds of ways the world could end in the next few minutes

3. The planet is running out of natural resources and we haven’t got any replacements that aren’t extremely expensive, which means everybody is going to be really poor.

4. There are 7 billion people on the earth, in 2020 there will be almost 8 billion people.

5. We have absolutely no power. Democracy is an illusion. Governments don’t have to do anything, all you have to do is be the lesser of two evils in a democracy (so just make an agreement with the other party about what you’re going to agree on) and have a big army in a dictatorship and then you can do whatever you want. They know it takes 5 seconds to sign a petition, they know that’s as far as we’ll go. They don’t care if you walk up and down the streets all day protesting, it’s annoying, it’s not a revolution. Are you going to take up arms?

6. Life is not worth living, it’s just pain and suffering and distraction. If I have children one day one of their pets will die and then another and another and then a friend will die and then family and then more family until they’re left all alone in horrible agonizing pain wondering what it’s all about.

7. People are so easily brainwashed and so full of hate. It’s 2012 and we still believe in “nations” and “God”.

Will add more.

— 2 months ago

 I resent my parents for having me. I didn’t even exist yet why did they think it was okay to inflict this awful world on a complete stranger. Why would anyone want to have a baby when there are so many stray dogs and cats in need of a good home.

— 3 months ago

Yaz increases your chance of having an embolism by more than 600% but decreases your chance of having a baby by 99% so who cares. Pregnancy is worse than death.

— 7 months ago
What the fuck is wrong with my brain

I think things are harder now that I know what it feels like not to be lonely, but I can’t be sure. I can’t see both sides at once.

I can’t spell, I can’t learn things that other people find easy, I’m wasting my time in everything I’m doing, I’m never going to have enough money saved up to go to college, I’m never going to get a job I like, I’m never going to love someone who loves me back and I’m  never going to deserve it.

What’s the point. Really. What’s the point.

— 8 months ago
It’s not a new idea to stop caring about people.

It was always suggested to us in school that heaven is a place so wonderful that you don’t give a crap other people are suffering. It sounds disgusting.

How could there people up there now, blissfully happy, when they know that we are suffering? If you go to heaven you must automatically become a insensitive dick.

If all that crap was true we’d have to stop loving each other when we died because goodness gracious I’m sorry your poor aunt Lilly couldn’t be with us today as she committed adultery with the wife of the prime-minister which roots her firmly in the 7th level of hell. But don’t worry BLISSITY BLISS BLISS.

Sounds like a drug. This is the main problem with drugs and alcohol, not that they’re unhealthy, but that they separate you so completely from any kind of real quest for answers or any kind of real connection with other human beings, till you end up with nothing but yourself and this feeling.

 Clearly the drugs don’t work, they just make things worse but what I’m trying to do right now is figure out if you can artificially create heaven on earth by being a dick.

— 8 months ago

I love the bright coloured dresses a lot of the Muslim ladies here wear, I wear bright colours too, but wearing far less means wearing far fewer colours. They look so beautiful. Amazing colours!

Going home from boyfriend’s place, got on the bus in cleavage dress, the result of another failed attempt to seduce him.

Busdriver looks down my top unapologetically. I feel ashamed inexplicably.

Sit down on a seat, Muslim lady gets on and sits on the seat across from me and above me, so she spends the whole journey looking down at me.

It would have made a good photograph, except it would be saying something about her and all of us that probably isn’t true at all.

I wonder if I had grown  up with Islam instead of Catholicism would I still have lost my faith. It was difficult for me on a personal level to stop believing, but it was absolutely accepted by my family. At home people just pity atheists, because we don’t have God to support us. That’s an idea I grew up with, that God serves you.

When  you are worried about mortality you have the thought of heaven to comfort you. When you are worried about your sins you can confess them to a priest and be forgiven. When you are worried about your soul you know that Jesus died for you.

We are taught that God loves us, and wants to serve us, so giving up God means giving up all these nice things. People feel sorry for you.

The thing that made me lose my faith is not unusual, just that there is so much pain in the world that God is either aware of it and intentionally doing nothing to stop it, or unaware of it, or unable to stop it. If any of these things are true then I don’t feel he’s worth praying to.

I found it easy to ignore this and feel that he worked in mysterious ways, and it was all part of his plan, and it would make sense eventually, until I actually lost someone very close to me myself and really felt the pain myself.

I guess I felt God was a bad servant, he stole from me, so I fired him.

— 1 year ago with 1 note
#immaturity  #religion 

I hope some day I am mature enough to look at a beautiful thing and not feel this dull sadness at knowing that I am not beautiful.

— 1 year ago

I think that I function quite well because I have ways of coping when I’m in work and I’m very stressed.

[self injury trigger warning]

Instead of breaking down in tears in the middle of a class I just tell myself I have to make it to the break, then I can go to the bathroom and cut pretty patterns into my thighs with one of the scissors from the office.

[/trigger warning]

Then I don’t feel like I need to cry anymore and I can go on with my day.

I know that this is not healthy, but it beats the alternative. It’s not like I can hold ice cubes in work or go for a walk.

I don’t see anything wrong with it as long as I don’t cut too deep.

It’s a very silly thing for a 25 year old to still have to do, I know. you would think that after all this time I’d have found some healthy way to cope like an adult.

But fuck it, I’ll say it. I LOVE CUTTING MYSELF. Take that, world! I’m an attention seeker or a drama queen or whatever, I don’t care, I admire Chris Crocker and Courtney Love so clearly it’s not such a dreadful insult for me. I don’t think attention is my motivation, as i try to cut where people can’t see. But who knows what my subconscious has planned for me.

Oh but don’t call me uneducated or dull! Oh no! Now that’s an insult! How I want to don titles like EDUCATED and INTERESTING when I’ve done nothing to earn them is beyond me. I couldn’t be more pedestrian most of the time, though I eat more than enough chocolate to feel sufficiently debauched.

— 1 year ago

my mom said if i kept my room tidy for a month i could see my cousin, and i kept my room tidy for a month and I still couldn’t see him.. I cried so much.. she thought he was a bad influence… she said she never thought i’d be able to keep my room tidy

he wasn’t a bad influence, he smoked and drank and cursed but he always told me not to, and i hardly ever got to see him once he was a teenager, and then he died, and i think he killed himself but I don’t know. and his brother told me he might have been schizophrenic but I don’t know, and that he was hearing voices telling him he would be responsible for his brothers death.

— 1 year ago
Who will I be today? :)

Who will I be today? :)

— 1 year ago

Boyfriend: AAAAAhhh I forgot. Damn it.
Me: Forgot what?
BF: I forgot to…. you’re going to laugh
Me: What?
BF: I forgot to steal my cousin’s panties so I could send it to some guy I met on the Internet


:S

— 1 year ago